You see, there’s a big gap where the vocabulary of the sexes is divided. Because if it sounds to good to be true guys, it is.
C’mon. She wanted a facial!
My mother is totally convinced that I am gay. My gay friends just laughs at me.
But I do like musicals. I appreciate Madonna and Kylie Minouge. I do use products. I can cook and I did wish for a KitchenAid as present. Well, maybe I don’t dress that neatly. But then I haven’t spent 20 years in the closet.
I guess you could say that I’m gay the same way Madonna is jewish.
They say, that when you eat chocolate you essentially experience the same feelings like when you’re in love. They also tell you that sneezing is just like having a miniature orgasm. So I recon that sneezing while eating lots of chocolate may count as pretty safe sex.
I don’t get women. They all want guys with a sense of humor. Still, they can’t take a joke!
I don’t know where this world is headed. But I swear I just saw a webadd reading: “Earn money while you work”.
Geeks. No wonder we invent things, we have fantasty, we need to have fantasy.
“Dear starlog. Today, the janitor double booked the hall for the local LUG and sorority by accident. Guess who was most disappointed?”
Ok, maybe only really geeky dykes gets that one. A highly underrepresented minority.
I can not remember names.
I just don’t do names. I can’t even keep track of my own middle names. I carry an ID-card as percussion — just so people will know who I am.
Because I’m that terrible at remembering names, I usually don’t even try to make the effort. So me and my friends use to play this look-a-like-game at parties: “Paris Hilton warning six-o-clock!”
But you should never, ever, ever tell somebody who you think they look alike. Because a split second before you tell her, you realize your constantly horny brain have compared her with some valspeak quadropod. Then two possible things can happen: a) She thinks you’re a perv. b) She’s flattered — but now you have to explain whom you just compared her with.