Dahnielson

Sometimes I seek help from the Emacs Psychiatrist (under the help menu):

Me: I feel lonely.
Dr: Are you lonely often?
Me: Yes
Dr: I see… Well, why do you say this is so?
Me: Nobody is around me. I am by myself.
Dr: What makes you believe nobody is around you you are by yourself?
Me: Because when I speak nobody answers me.
Dr: Is it because when you speak nobody answers you that you came to me?
Me: Yes.
Dr: Yes, hmmm… so, are you sure that this is so?
Me: Yes I am.
Dr: Earlier you said you felt lonely?
Me: Yes when nobody answers I think I am lonely.
Dr: What causes you to be lonely?
Me: I don’t know.
Dr: Maybe your plans have something to do with this.
Me: I got no plans.
Dr: Is it because of your life that you say you got no plans?
Me: I have no life.
Dr: You mentioned that when you speak nobody answers you?
Me: Yes.
Dr: I understand. So do you really think this is so?
Me: Yes.
Dr: Oh. …And what makes you think this is so?
Me: Don’t know.
Dr: Are you afraid of that?
Me: Yes I am afraid of what I don’t know.
Dr: Why do you say you are frightened by what?
Me: Because I don’t know why I am frighten of things I don’t know about.
Dr: Does it bother you that you do not know why you are frighten of things you do not know about?
Me: Yes it bother me very much.
Dr: Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going through all this?
Me: No, because there are no people hanging around.
Dr: When did you first know that there are no people hanging around?
Me: When I spoke and nobody answered me.
Dr: What happened when you spoke and nobody answered you?
Me: There is silence.
Dr: What makes you believe there is silence?
Me: I don’t hear anything.
Dr: Are you sure that you felt lonely?
Me: No maybe I am just stupid and don’t know how lonleyness feels.
Dr: Can you elaborate on that?
Me: No.
Dr: Why not?
Me: Because
Dr: Are you annoyed that I ask you that?
Me: Yes, very much.
Dr: How do you reconcile problems at school?
Me: Fuck you!
Dr: I would appreciate it if you would watch your tongue!
Me: Shut up!
Dr: Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say shut up?
Me: Yes, I masturbate every hour and can overreact when I haven’t.
Dr: What would happen if you have not?
Me: I get angry.
Dr: Do you really think you are angry?
Me: No I think it is perfectly normal to yell at people to fuck off and shut up.
Dr: Have you been scared of sex?
Me: No I love it.
Dr: Perhaps you could tell me about your relationship with it.
Me: You mean my relationship with my right hand?
Dr: Earlier you said you felt lonely?
Me: Yes I still am.
Dr: Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?